4 Simple Habits to Make You Feel Like a Super Mom
Everyone knows that being a mom is a full-time job. Finding the perfect balance between life and work can be a struggle for us all. But it becomes even more challenging as a mother caring for her children and trying to maintain her own goals & vision for her life as an individual. Things can get out of balance quickly and it is very easy to lose focus in our lives. They say life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother, but where’s the manual on motherhood?! As far as we know, the volumes are still being written! So we thought we’d turn to our matriarchal figurehead and only Mom on the team, for her wisdom and insights on life as a mom of three children under the age of 6!
Read on to find out how Coach J-flo manages to be a super mom (not supermom) by her own standards and continues to pursue her own life ambitions as a nutrition coach and amateur CrossFit athlete.
I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom. When I married my high school sweetheart at 22, that feeling got even stronger. But we were young and committed to building our careers in accounting and finance. At the time the long hours and career mindset weren’t suitable for raising a family.
Fast forward 4 years and I was seriously burnt out from the long hours in tax accounting and ready for a change of pace. I don’t think either of us were “ready” to be parents and fully responsible for another human being. To be honest, I’m really not sure what it would look like to be “ready’, but I’m guessing it would include things like steady jobs, minimal stress, no other major life changes expected on the horizon, having EVERYTHING figured out like most adults do…AHEM!!! Please tell me there are some adults out there who have it all figured out?! 😆
We realized we might never have all those things and if we did, it wasn’t too likely that they’d all happened at the same time! So we jumped in and ibrought our first baby, Jackson, into the world in 2013.
Within four weeks of Jackson’s birth, I decided to officially quit my job as an accountant. At the same time, my husband quit his job as an investment banker and decided to go back to school for a masters degree, as well as taking a new position at a company he founded (read: incredibly high stress, and very little/no pay). We sold our home in Orange County and bought a home in Denver (where we had no friends or family), and moved in with our parents in Texas for about a month while we were in between homes! Yes, we were young and crazy!
That transition from working full time to a full time stay-at-home new mom was incredibly challenging. Looking back, it was probably one of the most difficult periods of my life. And yet, overwhelmed with the love we felt for baby Jackson, we put logic to one side and decided to add another little one into the family. Enter Camden in 2014, 20 months younger than Jackson.
This time, we upped the ante and decided to make an international move during my pregnancy and moved full time to the Cayman Islands when Cam was about 6 weeks old. Learning from our previous mistakes from when we had moved to Denver, we made it a priority to make friends as soon as possible and wherever we could. Having a good support system and feeling like you’re part of something bigger than what goes on inside your four walls is key to maintaining your joie de vivre!
I joined one of the few CrossFit boxes on island and gained back some of my identity as J-Flo, and not just ‘mommy’. This was one of my best life decisions and CrossFit became a big part of my life. Having an outlet and a community where I felt like people saw beyond the mom exterior and who I really was as a person with my own unique personality was a huge deal. It really allowed me to reconnect with my own sense of who I am and what’s important to me.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a Mommy. But before Cayman, I had nothing else going on, and my boys became my only interest, my only focus. It was causing a strain in my relationship with my husband too because I couldn’t understand how he had other things that preoccupied his mind, how other things beyond his Boyd could demand his focus. We no longer had much, if anything, to talk about.
Once we moved and started doing things outside of the house, making new friends, and doing things that interested us again as individuals, it was as if a new energy started surging through our lives. I felt rejuvenated, finding I had more vitality and even more joy for my boys. During this time, I was offered an opportunity to coach at CrossFit 7 Mile and I jumped at the chance! I had just started training competitively and had taken the jump from ‘healthy eating’ to tracking my macros.
With the boys now in preschool, I had quite a bit more ‘free time’ and I took the opportunity to better myself, both physically and emotionally. And I had the energy and capacity to help others do the same. Nothing lasts forever though, and our time in Cayman had to come to an end. In 2017, we moved the family back to Denver. With the boys in school now and all the after school activities, my schedule changed again, this time to full time mom, part time Uber 😉
Since I was no longer training competitively, my nutrition became even more important. I actually found even more balance here as I wasn’t so wrapped up in my training. I was able to take care of the kids in the morning, spend an hour (or so) at the gym, get my errands and chores done, and spend the evening with the family again. I wasn’t as worried about performance, so my nutrition focus became more about quality and I was less concerned about hitting triple zeros every day.
Towards the end of 2017 we decided it was time to round out the family, and risk having a house full of boys! To our great surprise, baby GIRL Daphne was born in September 2018.
The balance of priorities has changed again, and since my husband still spends half his time in Cayman, I have shifted focus back towards mommy responsibilities and away from “J-Flo the individual”. This time round, I have the past six-plus years to fall on as experience and I know how to manage my time so that I still feel complete in my individuality and content in my roles as mother, wife, daughter, friend & coach! There will always be an ebb and flow with this. Obviously putting all of my time and energy into myself would be a disservice to my babies, but I cannot be the best mom to them by focusing all of my energy on them either. If I don’t do the things that make me happy, I know it will likely result in my harboring some kind of resentment, either towards my husband or my kids! Something I definitely don’t want to happen.
I’ve come to realize that you have to be the mom you want to be by your own standards and not allow yourself to be influenced by expectations of others around you. It’s not an easy thing to do but if you can get clear on what really matters to you and what you truly value, then you feel less pressure about the unimportant stuff and stop trying so hard to be some kind of mythical “supermom”. If you’re a mom, you’re already a superhero. Period!
We have always had (and probably always will have) a crazy life, but who doesn’t?!? We are always working on maximizing the things that work best for us. I value my health, my family & my relationships with others the most in this world. Keeping Mama J-flo be on an even keel, feeling balanced and happy has been quite a process but I’m at a point where I feel like I’m managing motherhood pretty well. Feeling like a super mom isn’t easy, we never give ourselves enough credit for the work that we do! But maintaining these 4 simple habits has helped me to feel that way.
My minimum commitment is an hour a day, 3-4 times a week because I know it keeps me sane. Exercise has always helped me to relieve stress and sleep well at night. I continued to work out doing CrossFit throughout my whole pregnancy with Daphne and felt amazing. Consequently, coming back to training after wasn’t such a huge shock to the body and some movements even felt easier since I wasn’t carrying around 25 lbs. of extra weight!
I continue to track my macros to help me feel confident in the way I’m fueling my body and to keep me from going completely off the rails with so much convenience food readily available to me – Costco deli counter anyone??!! During my most recent pregnancy I managed to find balance with this. I didn’t drive myself crazy – especially early on when morning sickness made eating a challenge – but I kept track and because of that I gained healthy weight of about 25-30 lbs. during my pregnancy. I felt significantly better than my first pregnancy because of this, just take a look at the difference in my body!
I LOVE the personal fulfillment I get from nutrition coaching with Own Your Eating. Not only do I get to engage a different part of my mommy brain, but I get to help others navigate through some of life’s challenges that I’ve been through myself. It is truly rewarding to get to be a part of such an extensive community of people who are trying to improve their lives through nutrition. Although I already had a ton of experience, I made it a priority to make sure I backed up my knowledge with some science. I made getting my nutrition certificate a priority and squeezed in my learning around my kids schedule.
4. Family Time
Quality time with the family is not always picture perfect but I wouldn’t change it for the world! My heart is full with gratitude and love for them all. I do my best and hope I am raising kind, considerate, compassionate, hardworking children who will contribute great things to their generation and the world.
What habits do you prioritize to help you feel like a super mom? We’d love to know! Just comment below. Know a mom, who might benefit from reading this? Be a friend and share this with them using any of the links below.
If you’re pregnant, trying to get pregnant or even postpartum, then coach J-flo has the expert health advice you need to help you put your concerns to one side. Don’t allow anxiety or stress get the better of you during this time when you’re naturally in a more vulnerable and emotional state. Get the best support and advice you need with one-on-one coaching from our resident macro mama and maternity nutrition expert!
Keep up with J-flo on instagram @mamajflo.