Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs [Podcast EP 63]

Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs [Podcast EP 63]

In our recent trip to LA we attended a Tony Robbins seminar where we developed strategies for overcoming our self-limiting beliefs. You can find out more about our experience with Tony Robbins in our recent write-up about the Unleash The Power Within seminar. The whole experience was eye-opening and gave us a lot of useful tools to implement in our own lives as well as with our clients. Listen in as we dive deeper into why self-limiting beliefs are often the biggest obstacles in our path to success and what you can do to overcome them.

Find out more about how Roz overcame some of her worst fears and beliefs and consequently found herself scaling volcanoes, falling in love and starting a new business!

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Own Your Eating – Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs Transcript | Convert audio-to-text with Sonix

Roz:
We are live. Welcome to our webinar on self limiting beliefs self limiting beliefs.

Jason:
Deep deep topic this is really deep.

Roz:
But I think we have a lot of good stuff to talk about and I think it’s gonna really resonate with a lot of listeners, clients out there. So bear with us a little bit.

Jason:
Why do they need to bear with us?

Roz:
Why? Because it’s probably going to be a little uncomfortable.

Jason:
Gotcha. OK.

Roz:
So Jason and I went recently out to L.A. and we were lucky enough to go to a Tony Robbins seminar and you’ll see that if you’ve been on the Website you’ll see that Jason wrote a nice little write up about the whole experience. But one of the things that I found truly beneficial from that experience was that I think it was on day three when we addressed our self limiting beliefs. And it was one of those things like OK yeah sure I’ve heard this before like you know there’s things that we tell ourselves in our head and that way more impactful than we realize and I’m like yeah sure, I’m sure I do. But I don’t really know what I do. I don’t know how you felt about that. Maybe you’re not not even aware of that?

Jason:
Well I think you’re jumping a little bit ahead. We need to understand what a self-limiting belief is.

Roz:
Right. And so I think, I think we need to just talk about beliefs in general and definitely get to the root of well what is a self-limiting belief? And I think one of the most interesting things about beliefs is that you can have them without even really being aware that you have one.

Jason:
Right. So you have beliefs, we all have beliefs.

Roz:
Right.

Jason:
And I think the thing that people have to understand about belief is you’re really, I’m getting maybe a little too far down, but there’s opinions right. We have opinions on things. And opinions are basically things that have no foundation. If you imagine it’s a table an opinion has no legs maybe one. Beliefs some are a little bit stronger, in a sense that maybe we’ve felt, seen, something has happened in our life to almost reinforce that. And like you said I think for a lot of people we have these beliefs but we don’t even know that we have them right? And then the challenge with that is we don’t realize they can be changed.

Roz:
For sure and let’s maybe let’s give an example, in how these beliefs work. And I think there’s an interesting way that I can explain to you that these beliefs are there without us really being aware of them. So I’ll tell you a little story of that. So a man and his boy, his son go on a fishing trip and they’re having an amazing time out by the lake. They catch a ton of fish. They’ve had a great day and they get in the car to drive home and tragically they have this horrific car accident. Now the boy survives.

Jason:
Was this a true story?

But the father doesn’t. Anyway, an ambulance turns up and the boy goes to the hospital and when they get there the doctor says I can’t operate on this boy. He’s my son.

Jason:
This is a riddle.

Roz:
So how is that even possible? How is the doctor the boy’s son. How is the boy the son?

Jason:
I know the answer to this riddle but I get what you’re saying.

Roz:
What’s the answer?

Jason:
It’s his mom. So so many people are listening to this and they’re like “That’s impossible. You just told me his father died!” Because we have this belief that a doctor is a man.

Roz:
Right. And so this is actually, I mean it is a different type of belief system, it’s called unconscious bias, but that’s just how I think what it goes to demonstrate is just how strong our beliefs are engrained within us subconsciously that we’re just not even aware of them. So that’s why I think that’s an interesting little riddle to demonstrate that and why it’s so important that we actually do take the time to sit there and question, well what beliefs do I cling to that I’m potentially telling myself every day without ever questioning? And is that holding me back from achieving something or from enjoying a better life?

Jason:
Even just exploring something new it could be something as simple as being afraid of pitbulls.

Roz:
Right.

Jason:
Right. That’s a belief thousands upon thousands of people have died. And some of the most friendly loving dogs I’ve ever met are pit bulls. And I will tell you to this day when I see a pit bull I’m certainly more hesitant to approach it because it looks a little bit more ferocious. So it’s just an example that I’m sure you want to talk specifically about self-limiting beliefs because that’s a limiting belief to some extent. But you want to talk about beliefs that are holding you back from achieving greatness.

Roz:
Right. And I guess probably another good example would be if I tell you a story about myself.

Jason:
This is a true story?

Roz:
This is a true story.

Jason:
It’s not a riddle.

Roz:
So no riddles in this one. But as we went through this exercise during the seminar, I forget whether I was dealing with that particular limiting belief, anyway I am aware of this other belief that I have about myself and it’s that, I just grew up in this family where really hard work and commitment to your work and dedication was was what was rewarded. Right. So that was not just an emotional reward but also I was led to believe that that was how you would create a financial reward and how you would create financial stability. So it got to a point where I was working in the Cayman Islands and I was a personal trainer and a yoga instructor. And I just, it’s kind of crazy when I think about it like I was in these two occupations where essentially I’m trying to have fun with people and cultivate this mindset where it’s like “hey you know move your body in a fun way and enjoy play and have fun”, like that kind of concept. But I could not shift from the attachment or belief that I needed to be working 24/7 to be feeling fulfilled and also to be creating my financial stability and wealth. So I was in this mindset that I needed to just hustle all the time and not take any time off.

Roz:
So even when I did take time off I would inevitably do something like another course, or you know what I mean?

Jason:
Oh yeah you still battle with this to this day.

Roz:
Yeah you definitely know what I mean. So it was actually New Year’s Day and I had a yoga class and a couple of girls who had been with me for the week, because I used to teach these classes on the beach in front of one of the hotels there. I was like, you know what? I’m going to generate an open conversation and let’s see if people want to share their New Year’s resolutions. I can’t tell you what any of them decided that they wanted to do but they all shared something and then they asked me “Well what are you going to do?”

Roz:
And I typically don’t really set New Year’s resolutions but for some reason I felt kind of compelled to share something with them because these girls had been really sweet and they’d opened up to me. And so I said, I don’t really have a resolution but you know it’s something’s that’s been bothering me. I’ve been dying to go to Bali for years and years, I can’t tell you how many years I have wanted to go there. I’ve been wanting to go there and I just haven’t been and I would really like to make that happen. And then the girls said “You can make it happen you should go. Like make it your goal. This year you should go.” And I was like, OK cool. That was the end of the class, I never saw those girls again after that class and it was funny because you know I didn’t keep in touch with them at all. I had no way to communicate with them and yet I found myself several months later just continually reminiscing over this moment like I felt like I had made this pact with them and I was questioning myself, “Why can’t I go to Bali?” and you know part of it was I well I can’t leave, I’ll lose my clients, I don’t have enough money. I thought it would be really hard to get my clients back when I came back.

Roz:
All these things, there was just so much uncertainty about this trip, like, who would I go with, would I go on my own? There was a ton of of reasons why I should not go. But because I think because I had put it out there and committed myself in a way with this sort of pact with these girls, I decided to start finding a way in which I could go. And so I told my clients you know I’m going to take time off and is that going to be OK with you?

Roz:
And they said, “Sure yeah that’s fine.” I said OK well that was one of my biggest fears, OK well now I just have to figure out the money. I started figuring out the money part. I had already started saving and actually it really didn’t take me very long like a month or two and I had saved up enough money for the flight and what I thought I needed when I was acting is I’ve been in touch with people who’d been there and asked how much you know day-to-day costs were. And yeah so managed to get the money together. And then the only other thing that was holding me back was well OK you know, am I gonna do this alone? I should really be going with someone. I couldn’t find anyone to go. And I thought you know going travelling on your own as as a woman is just not a smart idea. Anyway I decided what the hell! I’m going to do. This is the last thing that’s stopping me.

Roz:
So I went to Bali, had an amazing time. Came back, decided I did not want to stay in Cayman, I wanted to travel more. I kept traveling. I don’t know what it was. There was something infectious about when I had let go of that worry and that concern about not having financial stability and not having clients to come back to and just feeling like everything was still working out OK. That it propelled me and carried me in this momentum of continuing to want to explore and enjoy myself more and more.

Jason:
I think because you knocked down that barrier.

Roz:
Oh absolutely. And then once I’d gotten over those initial obstacles. I mean I was just so absorbed in everything that I was doing out there and in the essence of just really having playtime and freedom and enjoying that freedom again. And anyway long story short – that was a long story! But I can tell you that I continued my travels and eventually ended up meeting a man who I ended up managing to create a business with doing exactly what I love in a much more financially stable way and that man also turned out to be my husband!

Jason:
Oh me? I was wondering who the man was.

Roz:
That was the riddle in the story!

Jason:
So let me, so let me make a long story short. OK you have the self limiting belief and by busting through that belief, not only did you realize it was untrue but it actually cured that belief in an extreme way. So in other words I don’t have the money to do it. I need to work hard. That’s the only way to earn money, by saying “forget that” you actually created a business with someone that made you realize that’s completely untrue. So now you have a completely different belief system. I don’t know if I summed that up super well?

Roz:
You did pretty well. I don’t know if I would say I have a completely different belief system. I still struggle with that hard work ethic. It’s definitely ingrained in me.

Jason:
You do.

Roz:
But I think yeah, you summed it up nicely the kind of the moral of the story and my experience was that actually from overcoming those fears I was able to network find people who shared similar passions with myself and actually create something even more amazing than what I was already doing and that ensured my financial stability as well as delivering me my life partner.

Jason:
Well thank you. And I also think you know what’s important for people listening to this is you know are watching this is understanding one improvement or one time that you see your belief wasn’t true isn’t always enough to reinforce that it’s not true and let me dive into mine which should be a little bit of a quicker story.

Roz:
OK.

Jason:
And it’s funny that it may have been the same New Year’s Day because mine was also on New Year’s Day which you

Roz:
Which year?

Jason:
I don’t remember exactly.

Roz:
2016?

Jason:
No it’s probably a little longer than that because it was the day I found out about flexibile eating. And my limiting belief at that point in my life was I’m a little older I have poor genetics I’m never going to be lean like I used to be. And I had felt that way for years you know doing paleo having weeks very clean but then I’d have cheat nights you know that type of dieting mentality. Clearly I was doing it wrong but I was doing what I thought was best for me at the time. I thought I was eating right and I wasn’t looking how I wanted. I resigned myself to this is me. And then I find flexible eating. I find flexible eating and realize that that wasn’t true. And you know again flash forward all these years later you know it didn’t take that long and obviously within a few months I had changed my physique changed my body improved my mindset on nutrition, but all these years later you know now coaching other people in this it’s really awesome. And I will say like you, there are definitely times whether it’s flexible eating or overcoming these beliefs where I’m still, I struggle with it.

Jason:
Not that I ever think I can’t do it because now I know I can but I think people listening have that belief and I want them to know that it’s OK to still struggle with it. But ultimately the goal is to change that belief.

Roz:
Yeah. I think, I think we’ve both realized you know beliefs or thoughts that you’ve had that have been a part of you for a long time are never really fully going to go away. There will always be that quiet voice in the back of your head. But the important thing is that you develop that sense of awareness to be able to overcome them and continually put them to one side and carry on in overcoming those fears that you’re having.

Jason:
Right. So for me there are definitely times where whether I’ve eaten too much or not feeling comfortable in my skin that day I’m like OK I’ve got to cut carbs, I’ve got to eat less. And it’s like for me I need to get over that old school mentality and nutrition which even all these years later still lingers deep deep deep it gets deeper every day. But that belief is still there and yet to fight and overcome it.

Roz:
Yeah I think constantly questioning where our beliefs are coming from and what they’re attached to and whether it’s truly based on fact is an important aspect of that because ultimately our beliefs are trying to take us back to a place of comfort but that that sense of comfort is not necessarily based in truth right.

Jason:
And then going back to what I said at the beginning of this. We have opinions we have beliefs and then ultimately we have convictions. And when we have convictions, there’s your table. So ultimately your conviction is I don’t need to work hard I need to work smart or I am not going to be fat for the rest of my life because my body can improve. Now it’s a conviction of mine or it’s getting closer because after years of seeing the data seeing the improvement I have facts.

Roz:
And convictions like that are kind of I mean to me that kind of sounds like a positive affirmation really.

Roz:
Yeah that conviction might have a negative connotation to it but right your convictions can be very positive and very solid.

Roz:
And I think that’s an important tool that you can use to reinforce your mindset in a way that’s a lot healthier and that is promoting your personal growth. And you know they talk about it a lot with athletes and sports personalities is that having positive affirmations even on notes posted around your house or in your place of work to constantly remind yourself of things that you are trying to reinforce in your mind can really have huge ramifications in the rest of your life.

Jason:
Absolutely. I think whether it’s post-it notes whether it’s the screen on your phone whether it’s mantras that you play in the background having those things constantly reinforce you. And especially like you said in the positive present tense “I am this, I am going to be, I am, I will be”. All those positive words and really believing in it.

Roz:
Do you have a mantra? That you’re following right now?

Jason:
Right now I do have a mantra that I’ve been thinking about and it’s “the obstacle is the way.”

Roz:
It’s like mine.

Jason:
It’s similar to yours right? Resistance is the path or resistance.

Roz:
No. So, I must have heard it on a podcast or something, not long ago. It’s “Resistance is the fastest path to growth” but basically you know when I’m like in the middle of a workout I usually think of that, or “embrace resistance” just two simple words that I can say to myself, just embrace resistance, embrace resistance. So whenever I’m like you feeling that sort of fear you know if it’s a barbell workout or whether it’s speaking in public.

Jason:
Speaking of that that’s where mine comes in. “The obstacle is the way” you know I’ve heard you say your mantra over and over recently and you know for me it’s a matter of embracing that and not just in a workout which is obviously a great place to embrace it. But you know for those that have seen what I did yesterday going to a stand up comedy club and where I’m very comfortable being home at six thirty p.m. I went out, it got late, I stayed out and made some new friends.

Roz:
It was the funniest thing. Jay left the house and he said I’m nervous, I’m like this makes you nervous going to a workshop?! I would love that! Whereas when he’s going away for his CrossFit seminars for the weekend he’ll be all excited like “Yeah I can’t wait to deliver this new lecture for CrossFit this weekend. I haven’t read it yet but I’ll figure it out along the way.” I’m like that would make me nauseous!

Jason:
Well there is a difference in being confident in what you know and what you’re about to deliver. And that was what was going on last night. These guys were trying to get me to go on stage and perform and I was like look I have no problem performing. I can talk, you want me to give “The What is Crossfit Lecture” right here at the comedy club? I’ll do it. It’s a matter of being prepared with material which I didn’t have and I plan on having in the future.

Roz:
Right. Yeah.

Jason:
So what’s the lesson that we’re giving to these people that are listening and watching?

Roz:
Well I think the lesson is to schedule some time aside to really sit down and question what self-limiting beliefs you have going on in your thought processes right now. And I would encourage you to think of one or two don’t get too consumed.

Jason:
Let’s start with one. What if they’re listening to this and we’re giving homework. Let’s make it specific one thing and I think when we talk about it we have to say, hey it’s how do you figure out what a self-limiting belief is?

Roz:
Well I think the way in which you figure out whether it’s self limiting is you would ask has this belief caused any negative consequences in my life?

Jason:
Right. So they have to really assess. When you figured out your belief. Or when I figured out my belief there wasn’t so much diving right into what our self-limiting belief is, but we had we had to think about where we’re not happy, where we’re not satisfied in life. So for you “I’m not happy because I want to travel and I’m not”, and for me “I’m not happy because I don’t look how I want to look in the mirror.” Great. Now that we’ve established that. Why?

Roz:
OK yes. So why are those things not happening. OK. So for me I’m not traveling, it makes me unhappy, why is that happening? Because I keep telling myself that I have to work all the time. OK. So my belief is what is my belief about working all the time? Well my belief is that I have to work all the time to be financially stable and working hard is the only way to be rewarded in life. OK. So I have to dismantle that that self limiting belief. Like what are the negative consequences. Well the negative consequences in the past is that it’s stopped me from going on all these amazing trips maybe in particular it stopped me from going to a friend’s wedding or something like that. You know I start thinking about how this belief of yours has really affected you in in other ways too. You know it wasn’t maybe just travel maybe it was OK. I spent a whole weekend working instead of spending time with a friend who came to visit. Things like that, establish periods of time, experiences where that belief has had a negative consequence in the past.

Jason:
And I would say most of the people listening to this mostly people watching, know us from the nutrition and fitness space. So maybe we do give two and maybe one of them is in fact look everybody doing this has a limiting belief about their nutrition and also about their fitness. And I don’t want to go into a whole another belief in mine but I think I’m a poor runner right. Anytime a workout comes up with running in my mind I’m like “I won’t win today” or win or be in the top of of the box.

Jason:
So I think to start anyone listening to this can say OK what is that limiting belief when it comes to my fitness or nutrition. I’m, you know I can’t lose weight because of X or this movement, I can’t do or I’m not good enough at it. And then when you kind of figure out the first one it allows you to open up the door to figure out deeper ones like the one you’ve met because that’s a pretty deep one.

Roz:
Yeah I think that’s good. And I think once you identify any negative consequences that have happened in the past, then the next step would be OK, well what if I was to continue to hold onto this belief for the rest of my life? What does my future look like? Can I anticipate any negative consequences that might arise in the future because of this? And I think once you start going down that avenue that really scares the crap out of you.

Jason:
Oh yeah when we were doing that at the Tony Robbins seminar we were doing that, people were yelling.

Roz:
They were howling and crying like I mean I can’t imagine what people were thinking.

Jason:
Yeah. I don’t think anybody just thinking about it you realize well no matter how you look at it it’s just limiting your life.

Roz:
Yeah.

Jason:
Even yesterday by not going on stage yesterday limits something because my limiting belief in that moment even was I don’t have material I’m not prepared. And there’s part of me that certainly regrets not going out there right.

Roz:
You should have done improv babe.

Jason:
There are some rules involved to going up and part of it was don’t riff with the crowd etc. Although people broke that. But you know even for me do I regret not going on stage? I don’t know. I don’t like to have regrets right. But I think every day we have these self-limiting beliefs and if we can overcome them, the point is you’re going to live a better life and ultimately you’re going to live your ideal life.

Roz:
Yeah. I like that you summed everything up nicely.

Jason:
Did I? I put a bell on it or a button on it?

Roz:
Yeah you did. I think hopefully that was clear about the homework that we want people to work on. Find one or two self limiting beliefs. Think about the negative consequences that have happened in the past and then think about what negative consequences might continue to happen in the future if you hold onto those beliefs. and then the final part of that homework would be OK, well what’s another belief that you could replace that self limiting belief with instead.

Jason:
Right. I think that’s really the ultimate goal and that’s kind of where you’re creating your mantra to right to some extent. So what did you replace your belief with? Just to remind everybody?

Roz:
With the travel story?

Jason:
Correct.

Roz:
My belief I think would have been that I realized that hard work although it provided financial reward didn’t necessarily provide me with fulfillment. And also that by traveling and by networking and by having incredible relationships with people around us there are there is just an abundance of opportunity in this world.

Jason:
Awesome.

Roz:
Yeah.

Jason:
So have your limiting belief and then ultimately be able to create a new better positive belief.

Roz:
Yeah. And I think it’s important try to make it succinct. I know my last one wasn’t terribly then but make it succinct so that whenever that old belief comes up you can easily replace it with a more positive statement about what you now believe to be true.

Jason:
Yeah I get it, very simply, I believe I’m a bad runner now it’s, I believe I can do this I believe I can run I’ve proven to myself enough times that I can run. Awesome!

Roz:
Cool.

Jason:
Well, I hope that helped. Like we said self-limiting beliefs let’s overcome them let’s change our lives and let’s do it together.

Roz:
Yeah. If you have any questions about the homework or if you would like to share your self-limiting beliefs with us and maybe hold yourself accountable in some way create a pact much like I did on that New Year’s Day then feel free to send us an email. Where shoudl they email us?

Jason:
They can shoot it to contact.

Roz:
Ok yeah send it to contact@ownyoureating.com and we’d love to help get you started on a more positive and fulfilled life where you are creating awesomeness.

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